


Feel the Beat

by cutthroatpixie



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, gettin crazy down in the car, last two only a little, questionable driving skills, this is au but not a specific au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-22
Updated: 2013-07-22
Packaged: 2017-12-20 23:54:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/893381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cutthroatpixie/pseuds/cutthroatpixie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat is never accidentally falling asleep at a party ever, ever again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Feel the Beat

**Author's Note:**

> I saw this comic on tumblr http://karkranky.tumblr.com/post/56112140211/car-dancing and after some silly conversation with a friend was hella inspired to write this fic so here it is :)

The last thing Karkat remembers, he was sitting on John's shitty sofa. 

"Come on, 'cause I know what I liiiiiike."

He is most definitely no longer sitting on John's shitty sofa, though whatever the hell he is currently sitting on has somehow managed to be even more uncomfortable than that ancient, sorry excuse for furniture John keeps in his dorm room. 

"...Roxy?"

"Shhh, Kittycrab, I am gettin my Ke$ha on!" 

Karkat just groans as Roxy continues to sing along to the radio. He glances out the window briefly, noting that it is much darker now than it was when he was still at John's house. "Why the fuck am in your car?"

There is a pause as Roxy finishes up her song before responding. "You got sleepy during the party." 

"That completely explains everything. Thank you so fucking much. I entirely understand why I'm sitting here with your gaudy seat covers rubbing against me in all their itchy glory."

Roxy laughs and reaches over to pat his leg. "I'm taking you home, silly! Obviously it's no fun having you snoring and taking up the couch while everyone else is trying to party."

"I do not snore."

"Oh but you do! You're lucky we left when we did, Dave was about to draw a penis on your face before I stopped him."

Karkat makes a mental note to shove all of Dave's pens down his throat the next time he sees him. His mental note taker is interrupted, however, when Roxy starts dancing around and he feels the car swerve.

"Are you trying to kill us both?! Watch the goddamned road!"

"Shhhhh." Roxy reaches over again and attempts to put a finger over his lips. She ends up poking him in the nose instead. "Sometimes you just feel the beat and you gotta shake it all out! Get off the wall, Crabby Kat. Dance with me!"

"Get off the wa— PUT YOUR HANDS BACK ON THE FUCKING WHEEL." The car drifts over to the side of the road for a moment and Karkat nearly sees his life flash before his eyes. "Are you drunk? Oh my god, you are drunk. I've been kidnapped by an inebriated lunatic with bad taste in music and now I'm going to die in some ditch after you run us off the fucking road."

"We're not at the disco, no panicking."

"Oh my god."

Roxy takes both her hands off the wheel and when she starts wiggling around that is when Karkat loses it entirely and just grabs onto the wheel himself. "What defunct asshole let you have a license?!"

"Ah, this is so fun!" Roxy tries to start steering again but Karkat's hands are glued to the wheel. "Aha okay, you take the wheel, I'll handle these pedals."

Somehow, they manage to get back to Karkat's house in one piece. He pinches himself to make sure he's still alive (or awake, what the fuck ever) and then immediately snatches Roxy's keys out of the ignition. "I am not giving these back to you. Ever. You are staying in my spare room and you aren't going to complain about it one bit."

Roxy whoops and jumps out of the car. "Sleepover at Karkat's house!"

Roxy is attached to her phone while Karkat leads her inside. He hides her keys on top of the fridge when she's not looking, though from the way she bounces around excitedly about their "sleepover", he doesn't think she'd try to leave anyway.

Roxy follows him when he goes into his bedroom. "Are we gonna get in jammies?" she asks. "Ooh, ooh. Who do you like?"

Karkat tosses a pair of sweatpants and a ratty old t-shirt at her. "You can wear those. You can change in the room next doo— or right here. That's just peachy too."

He quickly turns his back and starts changing as well, and when he takes his phone out of his pocket he sees he has a handful of new messages.

12:46 am, Dirk: Are you dead yet or did Roxy manage to sweep you back to your place unscathed?  
01:17 am, Dirk: Nevermind, Roxy has just informed me you two are having a "mad awesum lsadies niught ;)", so good luck with that.

 

12:33 am, Dave: dude i dont know why you let rox give you a lift home  
12:33 am, Dave: if you didnt want a penis on your face could have just said so  
12:33 am, Dave: i wouldnt have listened cause fuck bro you dont own my life but at least youd be alive right now  
12:35 am, Dave: i was kidding about the being dead thing hit me up when you get home  
01:03 am, Dave: or dont thats cool too

Karkat fires a quick "FUCK YOU" off to both the Striders and doesn't even bother opening the texts that start coming in from their other friends. 

"Our friends are dickshifts," he tells Roxy. "Who the fuck thought it was a good idea to let you take me home?"

"Uh, everyone, duh." She plops down onto his bed, making the old springs bounce as she does so. "I'm your driving buddy for the night!"

"You're a vehicular homicidal maniac is what you are." 

She pokes at his sides as he sits down next to her on the bed and when she giggles and whispers, "Sooo, you gonna tell me who you like now?" he decides that he definitely, completely hates the entirety of their friend group and none of them are going to hear from him any time soon.

(If he stays up until dawn chatting with Roxy, it is only because she won’t shut up until he talks to her and resistance is futile when it comes to Lalonde women.)


End file.
